Sitting here tonight stiching away... well reinforcing away (still working on the quilt). I realized why teaching? The question that has been plagueing me. I have worked retail for a number of years, I have worked retail in art supplies which was a fun first job, where I got to constantly be around art supplies, and artists. Then I worked retail where I was able to help people design customized paper goods, which was great because I was able to be creative. Then I got to help people dress themselves, in a way that made them feel and look good. Finally I am working retail in cosmetics, but specifically skin care, my all time favorite lotion and potion line Kiehl's. Retail is fun job, most of the time I would like to think that I can leave it there once I leave. In reality I take it home with me everyday, the clients that made me smile during the day, the ones that I helped feel better from something as small as a lotion and a listening ear of course. Somehow when I graduated from college the first time I thought that I would have my day job and feel ok with that as long as I could make Art the rest of the time. Somehow the time went by and no matter how well work and Art were going I felt a lack of "something". Finally I get it... the need to teach. Art of course is what I will teach, but the reason I want to teach, to do more and make a bigger mark. Helping people at work all day is great, and I do know there are some people that leave and really do feel better after I give them the time of day. The Art that I have been making has been somewhat lower in depth than it was a few years ago, and I figured out the lacking in the artwork and the need to teach coincide. I need to teach Art to do more make a mark, to class full of teenagers. I do not expect to make them all love the subject, and I do not expect them all to like me, but there might be one kid in the class that feels that is the one place in school that they feel "at home" in, and I want to be the teacher that helps that happen. Everyone needs a place to go in High school, and hopefully my art classroom will be someone's escape one day. Maybe there will be one kid that really learns that they love Art and I can help them figure out how to make it their life's work. I am pretty sure that once I am done with this degree and find a job, my own work will come back full force, there will be something there pushing me to make it again. -How could I ever face a group of vulnerable teenagers, as their art teacher, and not be making any ART? It would go against all my beliefs as a future educator. One should be an expert at what they are passing on.
All this time I have been teaching people about art supplies, clothes, lotions and potions and it has been there this whole time... I need to teach, and want to, because the look on a person's face when they learn how to do something they never thought they could do is partly what keeps me going.